Chapter 2: Good Orders, Good Inspections (1)
Translator: Pai_
Su-ho hurriedly unfolded the newspaper.
There, freshly updated articles dated for tomorrow were printed.
『Second Uncle Suffers from Hangover. Work Efficiency Drops by a Whopping 60%... Peddlers' Complaints Surge!』
『Mun Si-ah ssi, Treated Like a Little Kid, Sees Stress Levels Skyrocket. Has Been Searching for Late Grandmother's Keepsake for Four Days Straight with No Leads. The Keepsake Is Actually on the Floor Next to the Flower Pot in the Corner of the Dining Hall...』
『Father Mun Geum ssi Remains Missing and Undiscovered. Grandfather's Condition Worsens Upon Hearing News of Disappearance.』
『Mass Quantities of Illegally Cultivated Narcotic Herb "Crystal Leaf" Confirmed Among Cargo Wagons That Family Members Allowed Through South Gate Yesterday! Growing Doubts Over Whether South Gate's Security Posture Is Adequate.』
Su-ho examined the articles with a trembling heart, but most of them were nothing more than useless trivia.
It couldn't be helped.
The name of this newspaper was [Prophecy Newspaper - Family Newsletter]. As the name implied, it was a medium that delivered news about one's family.
Su-ho's family was hardly some secret society guarding the mysteries of the world. They were just an unremarkable vassal household.
Vassals who had served for generations under the baron who governed the South Gate of the Royal Capital. How much groundbreaking news could there possibly be?
(The revelation that his socialite aunt had secretly hidden her hair loss for the past three years was, admittedly, somewhat surprising.)
'Still, I need to squeeze out every last drop of information!'
Flip, flip. He was reading the newspaper intently when, suddenly.
"......?"
A certain section of the newspaper caught his eye.
It was something he would normally have glossed over without thinking, so it took him a moment to register it.
It was the Advertisement Section.
'What's this?' Su-ho narrowed his brow. Listed there were products on an entirely different level from those in any ordinary newspaper.
[Consumable] Deep Investigation Subscription, Single-Use Pass
(30 Points) (Always Available) (Viewable Immediately Upon Purchase)
* Did an article leave you wanting more? Want to dig deeper into the subject or event covered in a particular story? This product was prepared for discerning subscribers just like you.
* Deep Investigation. While not as detailed as a special serialized feature, it guarantees reporting quality far superior to a standard article. Experience premium-grade intelligence!
* Limited to one purchase per day.
[Consumable] Smuggling Magnifying Glasses, 1-Day Pass
(10 Points) (Limited Sale) (Resale TBD)
* You, exhausted from personally inspecting dozens of cargo wagons every single day. Enjoy a refreshing gatekeeper lifestyle, just for today!
* You will receive magnifying glasses for one day's use. All illegally trafficked goods will appear highlighted in red. However, excluding slaves, people are not classified as goods.
* This product is listed in the Advertisement Section for today only. When it will be offered for resale is undetermined. We appreciate your understanding.
[Consumable] 10-Year Future Scoop, Single-Use Pass
(100 Points) (Limited Sale) (No Resale)
* Incredible discount! A product originally priced at 1,000,000 points, at THIS price?!
* Our paper normally provides articles on a day-by-day basis only. Today, as a special exception, you are being offered the chance to experience an "extra edition from 10 years in the future."
* We present you with a one-time taste of the Kingdom Newsletter tier, far superior to the Family Newsletter. Sample the Prophecy Newspaper's outstanding reporting capabilities for yourself!
* Limited-time product. Available for ONE day only. Enjoy this new-subscriber-exclusive offer that will never come again!
"......!"
Lightning struck inside Su-ho's head.
"I can buy the products listed in the Advertisement Section?!"
So that was what the Subscription Points he'd been given earlier were for. They were meant for browsing the Advertisement Section and shopping.
What especially seized Su-ho's attention was the item listed at the very bottom: an "upgrade pass".
[Upgrade] Family Newsletter → Clan Newsletter
(300 Points) (Always Available) (Non-Refundable)
* Tired of only receiving news about your family? We have just the thing for you. The subscription upgrade service!
* From now on, you will receive a newspaper covering not only your own family, but the noble house of the liege lord your clan serves. Enjoy the Prophecy Newspaper's expanded coverage!
"Good lord."
If he could upgrade the newspaper from Family Newsletter to Clan Newsletter, the caliber of information that would fall into Su-ho's lap would be on a completely different level!
'Sure, all my family does is search pedestrians at the city gates and handle odd jobs here and there......'
'But the Baron is different! Our lord is a real noble with his own aristocratic district in the Royal Capital!'
Su-ho had never so much as exchanged words with the head of the baronial house. That privilege was reserved solely for his father, the leader and patriarch of their gatekeeper clan.
If he could receive the secrets of such a distinguished house day after day, just how thrilling would each new morning be?
"But... the upgrade pass costs 300 points."
For now, it was nothing but a pipe dream.
"I need something I can buy right now and test out on the spot!"
Su-ho carefully weighed the advertisements.
The pounding of his heart that had plagued him with tension on the way to work had, at some point, transformed into a pleasant flutter of excitement.
Nearly twenty years had passed since he'd been born into this other world, and without a single proper cheat ability to speak of, every day had been spent resigned to the thought that he'd probably just die like this.
And right in the middle of that life, a newspaper so perfectly tailored to his needs had been given to him!
Su-ho repented for all those days he'd spent lamenting over why, of all places, he had to be born in such a backwater kingdom. Long live His Majesty the King. He was so overcome that he found himself absentmindedly bowing three times to the portrait hanging in the guard post.
"Well, this is really the only thing I can buy."
After bowing, his head felt refreshingly clear, and he settled on the first item to purchase.
【Order complete for Smuggling Magnifying Glasses, 1-Day Pass.】
【10 Subscription Points will be consumed.】
【Thank you for engaging with our advertisements!】
【Current Subscription Points: 0】
The Smuggling Magnifying Glasses!
The timing was perfect. After all, he'd already caught wind of the news that large quantities of illegally cultivated narcotic herbs were being smuggled in today.
The royal court had recently been pouring its efforts into cracking down on narcotics.
If his clan happened to get made into an example now, there was a real chance they'd all be lined up for a lovely mass beheading party.
Whoosh...
The moment Su-ho tapped the product listing, ink burst from the Advertisement Section with a pop. The letters leapt off the page and began shaping themselves into a form of their own accord.
Soon the ink of the black letters popped with a puff, and wouldn't you know it, a pair of thick-rimmed glasses revealed themselves.
"Oh."
He put them on. It was the first time he'd ever worn glasses in this life. Being born as a human pigeon with eyesight of at least 3.0 had that effect.
Besides, in this kingdom, glasses were a luxury item painstakingly crafted by individually grinding crystal lenses.
"Time to test these out immediately."
Su-ho headed over to his sister's guard post next door. On the way, while he was at it, he stopped by the dining hall and picked up the lost item too.
"Hey, how do I look today?"
"......."
"Notice anything different about me?"
"What fresh brand of crazy is this."
The usual sunny response.
Su-ho nodded. It seemed that, just like the Prophecy Newspaper, these magnifying glasses also had an automatic stealth effect that made them invisible to other people.
On another note, his sister's under-eyes looked particularly hollow today. Could she be iron-deficient?
As a diligent and upstanding older brother, he couldn't help but worry.
"The Bear-Light Stone crashed and we're completely wiped out! Are you seriously this stupid?!"
"Ah."
"You, the Illegitimate Child, dumped everything you had into it too, didn't you? At least I only invested half of what I'd saved up, so I got off easy...... Aaargh! The rest of the family invested just as much as I did! We're done for!"
"Hey, relax. Money's something you can always make back."
"You, you......"
Si-ah's fingertips trembled.
"How can you be this calm in a situation like this?"
And who could blame her for being stunned?
From her perspective, the illegitimate child standing before her had lost over 90% of his net worth and still looked completely unfazed.
Even a Celestial Warrior who'd devoted their entire life to martial cultivation wouldn't be able to maintain that kind of composure!
Of course, this was a misunderstanding that only held up because she had no idea Su-ho had experienced a private double-your-fortune event the night before.
Su-ho had no intention of correcting his sibling's misconception. He considered himself, in his own estimation, a thoughtful older brother.
"Little sis. Money comes and goes. Here one day, gone the next, and back again before you know it. On the other hand, gatekeeper duty is a mission that can't be skipped even for a single day. Remember that well. His Majesty the King is watching over us."
"Huh? Why are you suddenly bringing up His Majesty......, ah. You've just lost your mind. That's what this is."
"What are you talking about? I always carry His Majesty's grace engraved in my flesh and bone, and perform my duties with nothing but humble gratitude. Long live His Majesty the King! For Her Majesty the Queen!"
"What do I do. He's actually gone insane."
"Oh, and here. That thing you lost."
"......Huh?"
"It's the keepsake Grandmother left you, right? I found it in the dining hall. Also, Second Aunt's apparently been struggling with hair loss."
"......?!"
"Brew her some herbal tonic that's good for hair and pass it along. I'm heading out."
"Wha... w-wait! You......!"
His sister shouted something after him, but Su-ho ignored her and strode out with confident steps.
The South Gate of the Royal Capital, where cargo wagons swarmed as usual on another peaceful day.
"Whoa, I can actually see it?"
Su-ho, alone in his commitment to the bespectacled-character aesthetic, leisurely surveyed the view all the way to the distance.
Here and there, cargo wagons were scrawled with bright red text like graffiti.
【Illegally Trafficked Daggers】
【Expired Smoked Fish】
【Flour Milled at an Unlicensed Windmill】
【Centipede Chicken with Falsified Origin】
【Unpaid-Tariff Sugar】
This was the power of the Smuggling Magnifying Glasses (1-Day Pass).
When he took the glasses off, the graffiti painted across the wagons vanished. Put them back on, and the text reappeared. Off and on, off and on......
"Fascinating."
Su-ho, reconnecting with his inner child for the first time in a while, felt thoroughly content.
'Most of these are just minor violations, though.'
The usual run-of-the-mill contraband.
To the trained eye of a seasoned Lower-class Gatekeeper like Su-ho, the estimates came instantly. He could press the issue if he wanted to, but even if he did, it was the sort of stuff you'd just pocket a small bribe over and wave through.
Today, Su-ho had no interest in reeling in small fry.
Why would a man of principle sweat the small stuff and miss the big prize? With his entire fortune having just doubled, his mental cultivation had already soared well past the patience of the legendary Jiang Taigong himself. [TL: Jiang Taigong is a famous Chinese historical/mythological figure known for fishing with a straight hook, symbolizing extreme patience.]
Clang! The dawn bell, heard hundreds of times from atop the gatehouse, rang out.
"Open the gates!"
Morning shift, begin. Official-duty honorifics, engaged.
"No issues here. Next!"
"Oh, thank you kindly, gatekeeper Sir."
"Mm. Your Identity Pass is genuine, sir, but it's only got two weeks left before it expires. You do know that normally, if you don't have at least a year's margin, I can turn you away, yes?"
"Ah, well, I, I completely forgot I needed to get a new one. My apologies, gatekeeper Sir. Once I'm inside the Royal Capital, I'll be sure to get it renewed."
"Yeah, yeah. Be more careful from now on. Next!"
Su-ho sent the backed-up line of cargo wagons through at a brisk clip.
On the other hand.
The clan's gatekeepers working the other posts were sluggish in every way.
Like office workers who'd spent all night tapping away at a crashed stock trading app and then dragged themselves to work, perhaps.
Su-ho's father in particular (not yet missing, at this point) looked a complete mess from the moment he'd put on his uniform. He simply could not focus on the task at hand.
Only at Su-ho's post did the line of wagons move quickly.
After belatedly noticing this and snapping to attention, the only other clan member who gritted her teeth and threw herself into the work was his sister.
Naturally, cargo wagons began funneling toward specific posts.
"What the hell? We got here way before them, so why are those guys getting through the gate first? Our fish is gonna rot at this rate."
"Picked the wrong line. Ugh, just go stand over there."
"No, but whenever you switch lines halfway through, you always end up getting pushed to the back...... Haah, fine. Let's go to that one."
Rumble rumble.
A bottleneck formed, like a highway toll plaza on a holiday. Right at Su-ho and his sister's two posts.
It was the textbook case of those who work getting more work while those who slack off get to slack off even more, but Su-ho didn't particularly mind. Whatever. The kingdom had always been like this.
And so arrived that stretch of time when minutes crawl like hours for the working person. Just before the lunch break.
Su-ho's ears perked toward the adjacent post.
"Sir, what do you have loaded on your wagon?"
His sister's voice drifted over from there.
"Ah, yes, My Lord. It's medicinal herbs, it is. Here's the commission letter from the Alchemy Fortress."
"Hmm...... The commission letter checks out. Where are you coming from?"
"Up from the Namu Marquisate, I am. My my, I was fretting the whole way, hauling such precious herbs!"
"Mmm."
A moment of deliberation from his sister. And then.
"My Lord. Consider this a small token of appreciation for the gatekeepers who work so hard every day. Hehe......."
The melodious sound of metal clinking against metal could be heard.
It was the sound of the essential lubricant required for anyone in the kingdom who wished to navigate social life, though occasionally, certain naive do-gooders would slander it as bribery.
"Oh, you really shouldn't have."
Si-ah's voice brightened considerably.
With the family on the brink of financial ruin, after all. As the girl effectively holding the household together, how could she possibly refuse someone's goodwill?
"Yes, your travel documents are in order too. Go on through."
"Oh, thank you kindly, My Lord. Have a wonderful day."
"You too!"
In truth.
Su-ho had been keeping an eye on that particular cargo wagon's approach for a while now.
The reason he'd been nonchalantly pretending not to notice was that he'd been waiting for his sister to wave the driver through.
"Hold it!"
Because that short stretch between the forward inspection post and the city gate itself...
...was the perfect kill zone. Boxed in by the post behind and the gate ahead, it was the one spot where a suspect would find escape most impossible.
"Stop right there!"
"......."
The driver flinched at Su-ho's bark.
Indeed, the magic words that had been effective since his previous life still packed their punch.
Of course, magic always came at a price. This time, the cost was the rapidly souring expression on his sister's face.
"Huh? What do you think you're doing?"
"Little sis. Sorry, but I have some doubts about whether the cargo wagon you just cleared was properly searched. Why didn't you probe it with a spear? Why didn't you disassemble the wagon's floor and reassemble it? Have you forgotten the five syllables of the gatekeeper's creed?" [TL: "문지기 정신" (gatekeeper spirit/creed) is five syllables in Korean.]
"......Ah, sh... Tch."
Si-ah's temperature rose.
"I thought something was different about you today. Hey, you... you blockhead! Don't you see all those wagons backed up out there? You and I need to be clearing that line right now! It's not even a special enforcement period. Where in the world do you find a lunatic who checks every single one of those?!"
"Right here."
Thud. Su-ho drove the tip of his spear into the underside of the wagon.
Si-ah nearly jumped out of her skin.
"Are you insane?! Th-that wagon was commissioned by the Alchemy Fortress! If those penny-pinchers find out their goods are damaged, do you have any idea the kind of hell they'll raise......?"
Her screaming did not last long.
And for good reason.
【Illegally Cultivated Crystal Leaf】
【Illegally Cultivated Crystal Leaf】
【Illegally Trafficked Longsword】
【Illegally Cultivated Crystal Leaf】
Because the exact spot where Su-ho's spear had struck was the section of the wagon plastered thick with red graffiti.
Creak, squeal. Then a cascading rush.
Herbs came spilling out.
The surroundings were instantly flooded with light, as if silver coins had poured forth. The brilliance of those radiant colors froze time at the checkpoint for a brief moment.
In terms of actual value, they were closer to gold coins than silver, but.
"......."
"......."
"Well, well. What humble narcotics, gracing such a fine establishment."
Su-ho alone remained perfectly composed.
Report drug smuggling? Dial ☎125, no area code needed.
That was the Korean Customs Office's number. And since customs originally referred to the tolls levied at a gate...
In this kingdom, too, the authority to "seize" smuggled goods and "dispose" of them as spoils of war was granted first and foremost to the person in charge of the gate.
The person in charge of the gate. In other words, the gatekeeper.
As it happened, Su-ho's occupation was also gatekeeper.
"Sir. You're aware this is all subject to seizure, right?"
Su-ho was in an exceedingly good mood.
It seemed that the festivities he'd be attending today were not, after all, a mass beheading party.